Job/journey Planner T-Shirts

The fate of the emigrant

Tourists

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'Are we broke yet?'

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Monday: Next 7 exits.

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

HS2

"Where do you see yourself in five light-years?"

"The cost of HS2 was 115 billion, but that was when we started the interview. It's 130 now!"