Job Jitter Warrior T-Shirts

"No. I blew the interview when I sniffed the interviewer's behind."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

When Pro Athletes Enter The Workforce.

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

"The job is yours. You're a jerk, we're all jerks, I think it'll be a great fit!"

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

(an employee is in grasp of a giant octopi.The employee's boss is yelling at him through a bull-horn) 'Mr. Smith! According to H.R., you can no longer be employed here! Alright H.R., you can set Mr. Smith down now!'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."