Job Interview Humorist Gifts

'You seem to have ALL the qualities we're looking for, Mr. Burke. You're not real, but we'll just have to work around that.'

"You're Hired?"

'Good resume, but I just can't see you working here.'

'It's a grueling job that requires a strong commitment and personal sacrifice. Is your mother available?'

"So, tell me. What makes you think you'll be a good drone pilot? "

'How are you at following directions?'

"...did your last employer give you a reference?"

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here? Mr. Lupo...?'

'I'd like to hire you, but you're not serious enough.'

"It says here on your resume that your best attribute is that people look towards you for guidance."

"Before I hire you I have to consider issues of liability. How good is your ability to lie?"

"I didn't want to hire the Chihuahua. . . but he stood in my yard and yapped all night long."

"Besides talking for too long after capturing the hero, what would you say is your greatest weakness?"

'Uh, there may have a slight misunderstanding...'

'Have you ever in the past or do you ever in the future see yourself as threatening your supervisor?'

'Impressive resume, Davy. How soon can you start?'

"I shall require many menservants."

'I need a job where I don't have to listen.'

"You say your heart was at Harvard but your head was at Yale. Tell me some more about that."

'Why did you leave your last job?'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

'Sorry, Wyatt,but you ain't no people person...'

"What are you passionate about BESIDES vaping?"

"It says best of show at Westminster, impressive. But do you know how to type?"

"I see by your resumé that you're my daughter's kitty."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

This castle manager job better be for real.