Job Interview Analyst Pillows

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Light Bulb Moment

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Morning, all!"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Time Is Money

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.