Job Insecurity Survivor Pillows

"I regret to inform you that your position here is at risk. . . great risk."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

'See, I told you - nobody's job is safe!'

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"It's our latest targets...We have to do twice as much with half the stuff in a quarter of the time!"

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

"Help, I'm being micro managed."

'I don't know what to do about my check - grief or anger counseling.'

Career counselor: 'If you want a great job, that won't be exported, get into politics.'

'But what if my job doesn't want to go to China?'

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

'You're overqualified... so you'll have to act stupid.!

'How did things go at the office today?'

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

'Really?! You didn't get fired today, either?! That's 60 days in a row! I'm so proud of you!'

Office Bldg. Being replaced by a computer is one thing, but an app is really humiliating.

ASDA Redundancies

Replaced by a Robot...

In case you're fired.

City Dump: Resumes.

You're lucky you took the buyout. I was downsized.

"Dear Helen, Freelance works remains lucrative, but stressful."

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

"I'm just basking in the glow of my not screwing anything up today."

'It isn't just you, Wally. We've all been put on the endangered species list.'

"For a moment, I had a feeling of total security. Then it went away."