Job Hopper Humor Pillows

In the off season I do temp work.

"Can you handle a variety of jobs?"

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"What's your occupation?"

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"There's another one of those blokes that work from home."

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"I see by your resume, you don't stay in one place long."

'He made me jump through hoops, but I got the job...'

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

'Scoutmasters aren't usually used as references.'

Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."

'We have an opening for a receptionist and a sales person and I'm ready to quit. How are you at multitasking?'

'When I grow up I', going to be an electrical engineer and when I'm laid off, I'm going to go into real estate and when that goes down the tube, I'm going to go into . . . '

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."

I have an opening for someone like you. It's called a door.

'Well... I guess it's time to look for a new job...'

'One good thing about the salary - you won't be liable for income tax.'

"Do you have any specific experience other than 'this and that'?"

"Oh yes, I'm very adept at using office machines. I can operate soda machines, candy machines, coffee machines..."

"Chasing, digging, rolling, fetching. . . have you no experience doing absolutely nothing at all?"

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

"You're late for your interview, Dawson – I like that."

Will work for question marks.

"The position you've applied for does employ some osmosis."

Not only have we been laid off, but, being small, we can crawl through air ducts with ease.

"I see by your r?sum? that i should have looked at it before inviting you for an interview."

Well the good news is that you'll be leading the team...And the BAD news...you ARE the team!