Job Center Worker Pillows

Job Creation Department - Door in need of a handle

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"We’re a lending aquarium."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

National Living Wage from April 1st.

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

The Communicator

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"I've been kept on hold so often, I'm really developing a taste for easy listening music."

"Hello?"

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'I hate my life.

"You can't say that to a customer!"

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"

Stress

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"Guys, can you be quiet for a minute please: I'm on a call!"