Job Center Staff Prints

'Congratulations-after 25 years we've found you a job in a gold watch factory!'

"We’re a lending aquarium."

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

National Living Wage from April 1st.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"Fifty quid for a high visibility jacket? Why, that's day-glo robbery."

"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"

"You can't say that to a customer!"

"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

Stress

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

Call centre musicians

'He just had a near-work experience.'

'I'm getting tired of these huge phone bills.'

'Loosing your job managing the community centre was obviously a blow...but luckily we have come up with a volunteering opportunity for you...'

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

"I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules around here. But I'd be happy to connect you with any number of people who think they do!"

'Honey, it's me! If you want to marry me, please press 1!'

'Yeah, we do cloud storage.'

"Effective and CLEAR communication with customers is ESSENTIAL so we're going to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information transfer methodologies to accelerate a meaningful dialogue."