Job Application Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

The Three Wise Queens

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

Job Interview Gone Bad.

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'How many words per minute do you type?'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'