Job Application Acrobat Pillows

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Do you have any other skills?

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Job Interview Gone Bad.

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

Employment recruitment aptitude test

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

'How many words per minute do you type?'

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."