Job Analysis Pillows

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'The recession is over, again.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

Sales.

Working 9 to 5.

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

Getting through the week.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."

Business Outlook

"I'm not worried about you, Henley. You'll land on your feet."

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

Corporate Darwinism

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Doctor to man: 'You're a workaholic - you tested positive for elbow grease.'

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'