Jewish New Year Gifts

"May your year be pear-fect."

"That's just sick."

Why children, apples and honey should not be left unsupervised.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Come dine with me!

2021

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

Reach for the Star.

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Cimafunk

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Be Healthy

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"We have an acronym!"

"Happy Gnu Year!"