Jewelry Appraiser T-Shirts

'And what do you do?'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

Posh Easter Egg

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."

Dolly Varden - 'The Laughing Dolly'

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"We're going out -- of course I'm wearing my pearls."

"It's obviously an original."

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

'I have no idea what earrings to wear with this.'

"You haven't left much room for sun tan lotion"

"Can you guess how much it will be worth after you die?"

"You have indeed purchased an original Rembrandt. A Ralph Rembrandt."

'I don't think firms need to worry about borrowing money as long as the money is invested wisely.'

Frenchy Fries, one of the world's greatest art forgers

'Bad news, I'm afraid. He's allergic to gold.'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'BBC Antics Roadshow'.

'I highly recommend this painting if you're into art as an investment.'