Jewelry Appraiser T-Shirts

'And what do you do?'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

Posh Easter Egg

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."

Dolly Varden - 'The Laughing Dolly'

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

"It's obviously an original."

"We're going out -- of course I'm wearing my pearls."

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'I don't think firms need to worry about borrowing money as long as the money is invested wisely.'

"Can you guess how much it will be worth after you die?"

'Bad news, I'm afraid. He's allergic to gold.'

"You haven't left much room for sun tan lotion"

'BBC Antics Roadshow'.

Frenchy Fries, one of the world's greatest art forgers

'I highly recommend this painting if you're into art as an investment.'

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."