Jets Pillows

Boptimism

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'A Vertical Take-off Cow'.

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

"First class, or with children?"

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

Airlines

Fighter Jet Sneeze

"Would you like some wings?"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Are we there yet?'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Travelling

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

A private jet takes off

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Private Jet

'He must be going economy!'

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Airport Bored Rooms

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

"These shades are GREAT-I dreamt I was in Tahiti!"