Jet Setter Pillows

'This one's for coffee.'

"Deploy countermeasures, for crying out loud! Oy, you're just like your father but lazier."

"I would happily pay more in taxes, if somebody made me."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

Casino on board Airbus A380.

bird

Pilot locking jet with remote.

Valet Parking.

Travel agents with 'please go away' sign on door.

'Don't worry, I have this procedure down pat.'

'Jet lag.'

On the monitors behind the check-in desk: Arrivals/Departures/Donations

'Harold was in the RAF, so I always do him a birthday Fly Past!'

'My wife offered me fight or flight.'

'Are we there yet?'

Arrivals Departures Bankruptcies

"Any chance of an upgrade to a flight that's on time?"

"Now boarding-all the people who pushed their way in front of the people supposed to be boarding."

'Does this effect my Frequent Flyer Miles?'

'The worse part of losing my luggage is that I had packed it really well.'

"Is the flight completely full, extremely full, or very full."

Airport

'I'm sorry I'm early but my flight was on time.'

"Washington, New York; New York, Boston; Boston, Washington. How was your day?"

'Left' and 'right' luggage.

"False alarm. It's just wanderlust."

TRAVEL AGENCY, 'Just a one-way ticket, please - I'm counting on them to deport me back.'

'It's time for the economy class passengers to leave the aircraft.'

Gate and Calories.

"Ladies and gentleman, the cabin door is now closed. You may now celebrate the triumph of an empty middle seat in your row."

'Yes, eagles may soar... but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines!'

'Ladies and gentlemen, the seat belt sign has been turned off - Ding! I mean on - Ding! Oops, there it goes off again - Ding! no wait, now it's on - Ding! Ok, I think it's off again - Ding! Nope, now it's back on - Ding! Ding!'

'JetBlue 171, I think my dad said you are clear for takeoff...'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'One carry-on!'