Jet-setter With A Conscience Pillows

"The government has sent some guidelines as to how er can cut our carbon footprint down..."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

"Hell: The Airport"

Dog on a plane.

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

"Have you decided where to travel?"

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

Plane crash on football pitch.

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'

"Any chance of an upgrade?"

Flight nap

Excess Baggage

In the wake of tourism...

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

'Can you recommend someplace where nothing is expected of us? Wilbur can't stand pleasure of any sort.'

'Want to buzz the airport?'

'Why isn't there zero tolerance to drugs and alcohol?'

"This is your captain. Welcome to Flight 112, non-stop service from Detroit to Tampa. For your enjoyment I made us a mix tape, which will begin shortly."

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

"Your pilot is still de-icing."

"Cynthia! Bridle your enthusiasm."

Fiscal Responsibility

"Why yes, it is my last flight. How'd you guess?"

"Which way to departures?"

"Our gold-plus members get live-streaming of economy class so you can see how cramped and irritable they are."

'But Sir we are still in port...'

"I sometimes wonder if these kids really live in the catchment area"

'Not only has my luggage been to more places than I have, it's stayed longer in some places.'

Tell me about your travel extras please. Airport tax,security charge,fuel levy and customer nuisance surcharge.

Travel 1st class and avoid meeting your creditors.