Jerk Dodger T-Shirts

What's the matter, Emily? Jeremy the jerk dumped me. I can't take it. My whole insides hurt. You'll be better off without him. Thanks, Twig. Youre lucky you didn't fall in love. Sigh. I wish I had a broken heart!

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Examinations.

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Private Viewing

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

'So why are so worried? I'm leaving my fate in the hands of 12 people not smart enough to get out of jury duty.'

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

"Scratching the infected area will only make it worse, Mr Bonaparte!"

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

'Team spirit, my ass.'

"Do you mind? Look what you made me do!"

'You'll be bound over for trial by a jury of whomever we can get for $5 a day.'

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"Are you listening to me?"

"Get ready to duck...we're caught in a departmental crossfire."

"No, Senator, I'm afraid stretching the truth doesn't count as yoga."

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

"Can't you rake the leaves? I'm raking in cash."

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING