Jealousy Wrangler T-Shirts

'How many times have I told you that even if students like them better than you, you can't vaporize substitute-teachers when you return?'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"How'd I do on the test?"

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

'OK...now what?'

'Did you want me, boss?'

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

Christo's greatest challenge.

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

Kangaroo to upside down joey: 'Once again your room is in total disarray!'

"Hitch up your horse, Tex. It's time for lunch."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

'Wow, a sixty-four arrow quiver with built-in sharpener! I'm so jealous.' (First day at archery school.)

"She's cute, but she's eroding my power base."

'Don't forget to wipe your feet.'

Jealous of a statue.

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

Targeted opponent

'Oi! Take your eyes off 'im - he's my bitch!'

"Comparison is the thief of joy, Mittens."

"Looks like we'll be walking today. The horses are staging a sit in."

'I want to go to my co-worker's secret vacation spot - it's warm, the sand is silver, and the ocean there is the color of Fred Yomp's eyes.'

"So, Beatriz...how are things with you and your boyfriend?"

Before baseball, raccooning enjoyed a brief stint as the national pastime.

"Have you discovered what's making you so stressed?"

"It's just a phase."

The Evil Pixie of Reaction Mixtures Taunts Another Chemist.