Jazz Critic Mugs

Philip Larkin

You're my Mona Lisa.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Cocktails on the verandah.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

No Elgar!

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Well....I could've done this!"

Use your imagination.

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

'Projectile painting.'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Jazz is Invented

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

Saxophone Player.

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."