Jargon Juggler Pillows

"I need an interpreter. Send in someone who speaks jargon."

'We had a group think about implementing paradigm shifting re-prioritisations of our inward facing media strategy in order to enhance our communication with the average man on the street.'

Law School Contracts 101: Writing with words nobody can understand.

Santas Key Deliverables.

'...As you can see, our proposal is also fully buzzword-compliant.'

'What part of etc, etc, etc don't you understand?'

Bureaucrat/lawyer speaks legal gobbledegook to assistant with tea tray. Secretary translates: 'That'll be two sugars then.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, today we're going to get down to nuts and bolts.'

"Networks, databases, the internet, the web, where is it all going?" Computer answers - "I haven't made up my mind yet!"

"You'll fins some mints on the pillow, polishing our brand."

'I fix problems you didn't know you had in ways you wouldn't understand.'

'Can't we ever talk without you using all those buzzwords?'

'Marcia, do we have anyone in legal who's fluent in both 'Mumbo' and 'Jumbo'?'

The Kind Of Synergy That Can Happen Only At The Office

The Lawyer Building: Not an Exit/Not an Entrance.

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"I'll call you back. After 5 hours of confusing explanations and computer jargon, I need to reboot the geek."

"So we're agreed our strategy is to agree strategies for identifying a strategy that will guide us to increase profits."

Book is titled 'Apperceive the Foreboding and Undertake in Nonetheless'. Woman says: 'It's a Will Self-help book.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'No you all know me, I like to call a spade a vegetable plot preparation solution...'

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

'He managed to think himself into the box !'

'I was headhunted.'

Barrister uses legal speak to ask for two sugars in his tea.

"Perhaps we could leverage our core competencies by maximizing our internal synergies. Is that a thing?"

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

The Mishegoss Stops Here

'I was just given more responsibility. Now I am not only responsible for corporate mumbo but also for corporate jumbo.'

'According to our legal gobbledygook, Dr. Rojak, your psychobabble just doesn't hold up.'

'It's a good contract legally, but your jargon's weak.'

'... taking great care 'NOT' to press the button labelled 'Thermo-Nuclear War'.

"I can talk for hours without saying anything substantial in a completely incomprehensible way. That's why I'm called an expert."