Jar Enthusiast Pillows

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

A European Nightjar in the form of a Jar

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

King and Jester

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"Man, I hate jester auditions."

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

Traffic Jam

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

"You're right - organs do look more festive in these cute mason jars."

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

"With company-wide layoffs imminent I realized it was a matter of self-preservation."

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Reality Bites

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

'My wife used too much fabric softener.'