Japanese Gifts

Feng Shui classes / How to say Feng Shui Classes

"Just be yourself."

"Hi-yah!"

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

Mikado

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

Lamb Noise.

Mikado

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"We have the exact same taste."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

Raining

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

'Mom says finger painting was digital art before computers.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Decapitated coffee.

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

"What did you just say? Did you just say 'Christmas'?!!"

'This is not fair, mom. . . none of my friends is forced to hibernate before December.'

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.