Jailhouse Economist Pillows

'He gets the electric chair tomorrow and his last request is to learn day trading.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Shakespeare in the clink

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

'Stay on all fours. That way you can pounce on new consumer wants.'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'I can't believe it! -- My own personal computer turned state's evidence!'

Hey, Pluto, I'm not responsible for what a bunch of astronomers come up with!

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

"You've got a dinner invitation."

'Now then, Mr. Grumpypants, if we're to get along we'll have to turn that frown upside down...'

'Well, the joke's on me - it turns out that the King pardoned you twelve years ago!'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

The prison-food was so bad, the inmates decided to smuggle in a cordon bleu chef!

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'I got six months for arson, and ten years for failing to file an environmental impact statement.'

At least you have security!

"Five to ten years of bad accordion music...OMG!"

Prison Paintings

'It's for you.'

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

"Basically, a letter to the editor got out of hand."

"I found your contact lens."

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."

"He told me it was for a hot tub."