Jailhouse Economist Pillows

'He gets the electric chair tomorrow and his last request is to learn day trading.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Shakespeare in the clink

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

'Stay on all fours. That way you can pounce on new consumer wants.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'I can't believe it! -- My own personal computer turned state's evidence!'

'Well, the joke's on me - it turns out that the King pardoned you twelve years ago!'

"You've got a dinner invitation."

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

The prison-food was so bad, the inmates decided to smuggle in a cordon bleu chef!

'I got six months for arson, and ten years for failing to file an environmental impact statement.'

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

"Five to ten years of bad accordion music...OMG!"

'It's for you.'

At least you have security!

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

Prison Paintings

"Basically, a letter to the editor got out of hand."

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

"You should never smuggle a phone in without first switching off 'vibrate'."