Jailers T-Shirts

'If you think he's bad, just wait till they send in the social workers.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Shakespeare in the clink

Prison Romance.

'I wanted to go straight. . . but then I learned a law degree.'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"Carl! I thought I'd find you here."

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

'I'm being released on Blu-ray.'

"They found culturally insensitive products in my kitchen."

'I can't believe it! -- My own personal computer turned state's evidence!'

'-and which commandment did you break?'

'Well, the joke's on me - it turns out that the King pardoned you twelve years ago!'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

Free the Downtown Three!

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'I never saw a man who looked with such a wistful eye upon that little tent of blue which prisoners call the Sky.'

"You've got a dinner invitation."

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

"Why not become a prison officer when you're released, Dobson? We need 2,000 new prison officers; the government's keen to provide employment for ex-offenders plus you know the ropes."

'I got six months for arson, and ten years for failing to file an environmental impact statement.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'It's for you.'

"Congratulations. You earned time off for bad behavior."

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

"Five to ten years of bad accordion music...OMG!"

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

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