Jailor T-Shirts

"Yep! Should have gone with plan 'B'!"

'Well, the joke's on me - it turns out that the King pardoned you twelve years ago!'

"You've got a dinner invitation."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Shakespeare in the clink

Prison Romance.

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'I wanted to go straight. . . but then I learned a law degree.'

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"Carl! I thought I'd find you here."

"They found culturally insensitive products in my kitchen."

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

'I'm being released on Blu-ray.'

'I can't believe it! -- My own personal computer turned state's evidence!'

'-and which commandment did you break?'

Free the Downtown Three!

"Why not become a prison officer when you're released, Dobson? We need 2,000 new prison officers; the government's keen to provide employment for ex-offenders plus you know the ropes."

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'I never saw a man who looked with such a wistful eye upon that little tent of blue which prisoners call the Sky.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'I got six months for arson, and ten years for failing to file an environmental impact statement.'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

"Congratulations. You earned time off for bad behavior."

"Five to ten years of bad accordion music...OMG!"

'It's for you.'

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

'Hey. You're back.'

Stirrbucks

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

'They robbed the bank, I was just the pilot-fish...'