Jailbird With A Sense Of Humor T-Shirts

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

"White Collar Prison"

Prisoner Crossing

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

Actual reader mail. Dear Dr. Sadie, Bless you Doctor. I wrote you back last July and asked you if I could expand my grumpiness beyond getting up in the morning. I took your wonderful advice and now there isn't a neighbor, fellow employee or friend that's not fed up with me. You have given me a new existence and once I get out of this lousy jail I'll let the rest of the world know just how annoying I am. I owe it all to you, Sadie. If you ever need a testimonial, call me. Signed, An ol' stick in

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

'I made good money - until they added colour to the twenty dollar bills.'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

At least you have security!

'It was sort of like a penalty for early withdrawal. The bank hadn't opened yet.'

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

Love in prison.

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

'It's best if you take it one day at a time.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

'Never take the stand in your own defense. The judge can reach you with the gavel.'

'There. Now you have the job security you've always wanted.'

'Yeah...who knew community service would be this harsh?'