Jacuzzi Jokester T-Shirts

'If the jacuzzi's not working, why the bubbles?'

"I'm just doing a spot of pruning in the garden."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

Fleas Navidad.

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

"Merry Christmas"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

Men dancing

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

"Maybe this year..."

Elf of the Month

'It wasn't any good for spells but it makes a great jacuzzi!'

'I thought from the noises when you're in ours we already had one.'

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

C is for Cracker

'It's the 'SPA KING 2000': Someone who spends as much time in the water as you do would love it...'

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Easter Island heads bunny ears.

'You can't borrow the sleigh tonight- it's Christmas Eve!'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

You know, I'll always think of the song that's on the Juke box right now as

Santa's grotto advertising 'Talk to Santa', is next to a diet clinic with a sign in the window, 'Santa, talk to us.'

"Bobby, you may have worked for a circus but that's not an excuse for playing with your food!"

'You want to buy a jacuzzi? Don't you think we ought to look at American cars first?'

"I'm afraid the jacuzzi is out of order madam"

'Is it just me, or does this water feel unnaturally warm?'

A man seeking truth encounters a clown.