Javelin Jokester T-Shirts

"Not to diminish what you've achieved in the last eighteen months of training, but it appears that the javelin roll is not an Olympic sport."

Le javelot pour bûcheron.

'I forgot to let go...!'

Javelin Rocket.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

"Bed Spread"

'Gravity...Go figure!'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Fleas Navidad.

Growth Charts

"Merry Christmas"

Snowman of the Apes

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"Influence this."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"I hate this time of year."

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

'Fancy a swift half?'

'Apparently our postcode qualifies us for Government sponsored loft insulation.'

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

'Hey, Fred! You have a relative visiting.'

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'