Ivy League Aspirant T-Shirts

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

A scarecrow goalie

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

Not The Real Me

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

Man and woman surrounded by ivy.

Yale shadow

"When I left Princeton, I spent a summer briefcasing in Europe."

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

Always stick to the script.

"I know you went to Harvard, but stop asking to see my resume."

Spin Dentistry...'Hollywood, here I come...'

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

"I consider it an honor just to be sitting with someone who's thinking of becoming an actress."