Itinerary Strategist Pillows

Airlines

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Are we broke yet?'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Thanks for coming to this 12.01 appointment, but I'm afraid my 12.02 has now arrived.'

Planned service changes

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

"We were thinking about the Himalayas this summer. On the other hand, there's something very special about Montauk."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

Workaholics Anonymous - Hourly General Meeting

"Have you decided where to travel?"

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Yes, It's in that direction.'

"You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15."

Travel Advice to Dog Owners. . . On those long car trips allow time to stop so he can do his business.

'The Federal Government today issued an order to American citizens to stay out of countries whose names begin with a 'B'....'

Signpost to London and Cairo with Umbrella and Parasol.

"Mabel, you are becoming a control freak..."