Itchy Situation Solver T-Shirts

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

'I'm beginning to think outside the box again - get my GP quickly!'

"For Pete's sake, Helen, will you break down and buy a hair dryer!"

'We'll just blame it on the fish.'

Child using a fishing line to extract a tooth.

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"On second thought, could you take it out and just teach him how to use the door knob?"

Attitude Counselor.

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

Problem solving centre.

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

"See no more hiccups."

'Hon, did you see that ultra-adhesive compound I brought home from the lab?'

Conflict Resolution Centre

'Part of the problem, meet part of the solution.'

'Next time you lose your keys, please call a locksmith instead of blowtorching the door.'

Man on desert island picks the fishing hooks out of the fish he is eating.

'It'll take a day or two to get the parts. Meanwhile, here's a loaner.'

"My garage door opens whenever I change television channels."

Using a dog to pull a tooth.

"I'm facing my fears in alphabetical order. How about you?"

Violinist and boot

Buoyancy Weight

"Higher...to the right. Ahhh...that's nice!"

The man who gave up utensils for Lent.

'But sir! That's the best granite, no burglar could get through that.'

"We don't own one of those fancy vibrating chairs, so we put all our phones on vibrate and put them behind his back, then we call them."

'He's not a doctor or an athletic trainer. He's not even a coach!'