It Woes Warrior T-Shirts

'Our computer system crashed last night, following a high-speed chase by area police. It's currently lodged in the county jail. That's all I have right now!'

Nervous Oral Testing

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Concern Chart

"I want to get in touch with my inner child. I need the tech support."

'Technology hates me.'

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

'You should apply for government relief. Your room is a disaster area!'

'Okay - Who built this site?'

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

"I'm sorry to trouble you yet again with internet issues."

Your hands are cold...

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

Stressed Office Junior

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

'Isn't it nice to see children walking to school?'

"I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I'm worried that I might be dead."

'That's the worst case of rising damp I've ever seen!'

"This is where I get most of my negative thinking done."

"You should make a resolution not to worry about the little things..."

Bruce Lee with dangerous mouse.

'Don't get smart with me!'

"Please help. Never learned PowerPoint."

'How could Plato write The Republic with a quill pen on parchment when I can't write a memo with a deluxe computer?'

'I'd like to lease with an option to pulverize.'

Problem. . . Appropriate Amount Of Worry. . . Extra Worry Just To Be Sure. . . Even More Worry Days After Problem Forgotten About.

'I think I left the iron on.'

"I realize you're afraid the airline will lose your camera gear again, but I doubt duct taping it to yourself will be allowed."

'This compulsion to check you've always locked you can door...how long have you...?