It Skills Seeker Gifts

'You should think about signing up for a computer course. Every time you finish using the computer you leave correction fluid all over the monitor.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

How are you at decision making?

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

In and Out Sourced.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

Between Offices

"I don't like your application."

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."