It Skills Gifts

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

'Where's the mouse for this thing?'

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

"When I get older I want to be just like you mom, only more tech savvy."

"I'd eat him, but do you know how hard it is to find a good tech guy?"

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

'You should think about signing up for a computer course. Every time you finish using the computer you leave correction fluid all over the monitor.'

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

"Need help with your computer project? I have two teens at home."

"Sure , I can fix your computer but I'll need a note for my teacher and a new puppy."

"Today, you're going to spend less time breaking into the school back office website, redirecting air traffic, sending encrypted messages overseas...and more time working on the lesson."

"I don't usually allow him on the furniture, but he is rebooting my computer."

Computer use issues

"I'm getting a new computer, so I'm making sure all my data on this one is erased."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Computer Room.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

21st century water cooler conversations.

Out and In.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

The Googler

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Can our software do that?'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."