It Problem Crusher Prints

'Did you try rebooting?'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

Kevin had a computer virus.

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

Wha about trying another antivirus?

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of ai

"I hope that wish list you just sent to Santa wasn't too big." "Our server just crashed!"

"Let me stop you right there. Look, you're paid to keep the competition out of our territory. I don't need to hear all the grizzly details."

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

'Making a profit was a lot easier before so many countries abandoned socialism and started competing!'

'If you don't mind, my sales manager wanted me to call him the second you took the hook.'

'Well, we made it.'

"And for my next trick, I will attempt to work on this PC for ten minutes without it crashing!"

'The driving on that game is simulated, but the road rage is real.'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

'Sometimes the boss exerts too much pressure about meeting a project deadline.'

Desktop Print Hell: '...an eternity of different printers and no windows driver...'

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

Tech-Support

"This program really isn't user friendly."

"You've hit your goals so well that I wanted to bring by your Christmas bonus."

"It's make it or break it time. All in favor of breaking it?"

"Well, going by the melted screen and the sufurous fumes I'd say you've been trying to download stuff off the Devil's website again."

Hitting a Brick Wall.