It Humor Lover Pillows

'It was inevitable, I suppose. They've gone and virtualized the coffee in the 'Cloud'.'

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

IT security.

'She's our first born. We haven't picked a name, but it will be case sensitive with at least one numeral.'

'Before you take me, settle a bet. Are you considered hardware or software?'

"Failure is not an option (it comes bundled with the software)"

Computer Service: Your complaint won't fit our dialogue box's tiny word count. . .

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Larry's used art

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Grace For Flies

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Albert Einstein

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Why do they do that?"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

Fly Football