It Guy Pillows

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

'Crash on me again would you?!'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

Computer help.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

Tech support...can I help you!

'After his web site got going we bought this 5000 sq. ft. home, but he never leaves his computer.'

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

'It looks like our data.'

'Yes, Sir, all the computers are solitaire game 'free'.'

"Are you sure that a 'tamiflu injection' will cure my computer virus?"

"No, he's not on any antidepressants. His euphoric mood is coming from me installing a robocall blocker on his phone."

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

"Thanks for the leaf blower! I'm putting it to good use."

'We've got to upgrade our computer system. Downloading information on this one takes too long.'

"Is that Technical Support? My computer's fine - I just don't know how to operate my chair."

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

'In case of computer bug break glass.'

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'