Island Humorist Pillows

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

Warning - may contain nuts.

"And you're sure we don't need planning permission?"

"If you hurry, you can make the matinée."

'Hi -- I'm Casual Friday!'

Guy on island: 'Stop drawing cartoons about me!'

'Sally, there's someone else.'

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Shaved Ice

Shark food pyramid.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"You can find me on Inkedin."

Titanic iceberg auction

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

Scene on the English coast.

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

'It is truly embrarrassing Doc: I faint at the sight of blood... Can you help me?'

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

That's one harmonious butt hole!

'Rest assured, your fear of harpoons is anything but irrational.'

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'