Island Gourmet Gifts

Robinson le Creusot

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Too much cilantro

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

The Main Types of Cheese

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

To do before Saturday...

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

The Origins of Everything

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Cheese

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'Is this still America?'

Holiday Supplies

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Keith Floyd.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"