
"What triggered the audit? On your facebook page, you said you were a person of 'untold wealth'."
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"What triggered the audit? On your facebook page, you said you were a person of 'untold wealth'."
"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"
Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"
"You know, there are other emojis."
"Stinkin' fake news!"
I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?
"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"
Weird things I do because of the internet
"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."
"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."
The Modern Novel.
Mark Zuckerberg
I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.
"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."
'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'
Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.
Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.
Uncle Donnie
"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C
"Tinnitus?"
"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."
"This is a company which is going places...."
"You shouldn't have hypnotised him"
The Ten Really Cool Facts
IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.
Internet Magazine.
"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."
Cheer up – at least #et_tu is trending.
"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."
"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."
"Someone has hacked into our Computer."
"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."
'for more obit info, go to...'
'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'
#FAIL
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