Ironiy Gifts

'We're gonna beat the crap out of the Smallton Men's Group.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

Lactose Intolerant

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Backfire

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Deer Season Open.

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

Flyfishing for dummies.

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'