Ironiy Gifts

'We're gonna beat the crap out of the Smallton Men's Group.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Lactose Intolerant

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Backfire

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Flyfishing for dummies.

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'