Ironical Situations Lover Prints

"Saved at last!"

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Little help?"

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

Time management office worker

'We want you to start working from home. And not for us.'

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'The good news is that the person who stole your identity is spending a lot less money than you were.'

'Okay - which one was here first?'

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

Cake Shop: Parking Meter

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

'Holy S**t!'

'This motel doesn't have WiFi. So NOW who's going to babysit the kids??'

"I . . . uh. . . had a real pleasant evening, Wendy!"

"Sundials! Hourglasses!"

Later that night, Tim crept into Andy's cave and coconutted him to death.

"Well, all your tests came back normal. There's just something wrong with that."

Yesterday, the warranty on the Wilsons' waterbed expired

'To thumb a lift from this one mate, you must be tired of life!'

'I've prepared this powerpoint presentation about myself which takes precisely the allotted five minutes.'

'That's what I said - a hit and run steamroller...'

'Do you take this woman...'-'Sorry just got a call coming through.'

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

"OK, let's go over your sales pitch one more time."

Stuck in the Conversation Pit of Hell.

'Of course I remember you. You're Parker, the best man from the financial forecast department. Why do you ask?'

The Right Place at the Right Time. I'm sorry, sir, but if you don't have a reservation …

'Happy Christmas! I got you a card.' - 'Oh, thanks.' - 'Sorry it's damp... I licked the envelope too hard.' - 'Oh, right.' - 'If you rub it on your face, it's like we're kissing.' - 'Oh, no... quick! Give me your hat!'

Warning contains Nuts

"You're not exactly what I was looking for either."

'Yeah yeah... we'll do lunch next week when it's not so hectic around here.'