Ironical Readers Pillows

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

Horror movies

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"The only hobby we tolerate is working on weekends."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

Creating dummy corporations for dummies.

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

Library: Self-Help Books and Blame a 'Rigged' Political System.

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"We like to think of ourselves as a very progressive company. After all, a little self-delusion never hurt anyone."

'Let's get a kitty.'

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Et tu, Killbot 9000?"

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

'You mean to tell me not one of us can write the word HELP legibly?'

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

Forbidden Vegetable

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"All that praying for snow finally paid off."

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

D. H. Lawrence

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Amnesiacs Convention.

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

"I'm going to use Aversion Therapy. Get better or pay me $300 an hour."