Ironical Imbiber T-Shirts

"Is that neat whisky?"

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"Great coffee, Carole."

Redhead

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

"Good news, chief, a computer virus destroyed all our documents."

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

"I can cure your back problem, but there's a risk that you'll be left with nothing to talk about."

'You're looking well.'

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

'The bears are very well-behaved.'

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

Let's afford him the same respect his minions gave Pres. Obama and his family."

'Don't you find watching people relaxing?'

"I'll have you know that I'm not breathing fire at all. I'm having a vape."

"Does this make us three sheets to the wind or four?"

Priceless antiques priced to sell!

Sinister looking man sits near outline of body, with a sign that reads: 'All my own work'.

'Oh my god!'

'Spatula.'