Ironical Eaters T-Shirts

"They're veggie hot dogs but don't worry—they're made in a really gross way."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'Of course they're not working. You're not supposed to have appetite suppressants for dessert.'

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

'I saw my trainer eating here, and that's good enough for me.'

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

A well-balanced meal to a kid is a candy bar in each hand.

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."

Food-Snob Fear Factor

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

It occurred to Norman that he was using far, far too much salt.

Rice Cakes Gone Wild

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

'May I caution that the term 'Happy meal' refers to the meal itself rather than to any effect it may have.'

Strict Diet,

'Unexpected item in bagging area.'

"Are all of your carcinogens produced locally?"

The problem with word of mouth marketing was that the word everyone used was rubbish.

'Today's specials are some wonderful things the chef does with 'Hungry Man Dinners'.'

"Triple cheeseburger with extra cheese, mega chips, onion rings and a diet cola."