Ironic Meal Aficionados T-Shirts

'May I caution that the term 'Happy meal' refers to the meal itself rather than to any effect it may have.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

'Of course they're not working. You're not supposed to have appetite suppressants for dessert.'

'A formal inquiry could take months, sir, and still be inconclusive.'

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'

"Chicken 'Laissez-faire'?"

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

"Waiter! Waiter! There's no flies in my soup!"

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

A well-balanced meal to a kid is a candy bar in each hand.

Food-Snob Fear Factor

'The chef says that the quail was out but he prepared that little critter he ran over on the motorway which tastes similar and you nouveau riche snobs will never notice the difference anyway.'

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."

The food was nice...but something was missing.

It occurred to Norman that he was using far, far too much salt.

Rice Cakes Gone Wild

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

'What's the soup of the day?' 'Heinz.'

'There'll be a short delay, sir -- your businessman's lunch is under investigation.'

"They're veggie hot dogs but don't worry—they're made in a really gross way."

'How about a drink?' 'You've got gravy.'

Strict Diet,