Ironic Suv Lover Pillows

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

"In spirit I'm an environmentalist. I love my SUV but I do my best to feel as guilty as possible when I drive it."

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'It seats two comfortably.'

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

I break for toilet paper

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

Gas Pedal Sticking?

'I still say it would be faster if we had a four-wheel drive.'

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

"How deep are those pockets?"

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'

"Honey! I'm taking the new SUV for a ride. I want to see how many blocks it gets per gallon!"

Driving a Lemon.

Clown Airbags.

'Goddam Range Rovers churning up the countryside,'

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning an SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

Sports futility vehicles

Child pulling giant Hummer wagon.

"I've just had my panel 5 beaten...."

'It's a 4 x 4, it doesn't need indicators.'

'Uh oh, they all have 6,000 pound cars now.'

Family using a mobile stairway to enter their SUV

'I think that'll do!' (Car burps after being filled).

My car is running great, but the GPS is busted. You can go nowhere fast!

'It's an IQ test for the driver.'

"I've tried everything, but my gas mileage is terrible."

Emerging from Bankruptcy.

Left Lane Must Turn Right, Right Lane Must Turn Left, Nice Try!

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'

The SUV: A T-rex on wheels.