Ironic Gifter T-Shirts

"A new saucepan! Why, how thoughtless of you, dear."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

Christmas Presents.

"Shouldn't have, you really."

"Great news! Jim at work's promised to lend me all his World Cup DVDs"

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"I've never felt this close to anyone before!"

Bagel problems.

I didn't realize our pitch had such a lovely view...

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

"Sayyy - you've had some work done!"

"I can't afford to feed you."

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

Fast Food Menus

"Every Sunday, the same thing: we watch the ducks from Bow Bridge, I think about pushing you in, and then we go to that stupid Mexican place."

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

An Anarchist's Christmas

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

Tunnel of Dove.

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

Daily Meditations for Perpetual Victims

"We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to run some more money on it and see what happens."

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"

"A birthday gift card? Really?"

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

'The mice gave me this present. Lovely gesture.'

Make Your Own

'And you get this free.'

"It was heaven before this."

"That rat trap you sold me is no good. My husband hasn't been near it!"

She collected ceramic pigs. Only one so far, but even that was one too many.

"It's my Dad's Birthday. Could you gift wrap it?"

"We were out of embalming fluid so we stuffed your wife with wild rice."