Ironic Fashion Follower Pillows

"It keeps track of how long you've been wearing workout clothes without actually working out."

'You must be the new girl.'

Advocado

These species are only living off the coast of Southern California!

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

"Like my new haircut?"

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

'Oh, just walking around hoping to be taken seriously.'

Bartlett's Unfamiliar Quotations

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

Sales - "For the last time, stop saving us money." (Colour)

As Seen Watching TV

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

The Aging of Underwear

"Port outbound, starboard home."

A cow with a Brazilian.

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

Lady imitating fashion

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

"If they fit, we can return them."

Man sees where he's at and he's 'Where It's Not At'

"I don't regret going bald. I just regret growing bald before I had a chance to rock a man bun."

"Look at these old clothes, Dylan! You know, tie-dye HAS made a comeback!"

"What I'm looking for is a ten minute total makeover that doesn't change the essential me!"

Loom Bands Craze: 'It's supposed to be a bracelet, Mum.'

'He's a goatee herder.'

"Madeleine Albright kicked butt in that suit."

'El Nino now.'

"How did my discovery get picked over yoga pants?"

'Try these. They'll stylishly announce your return to the idealism of your youth without any apologies for being a total sell-out during the past few decades!'

Everyone's a Media Expert

bitter lemon...

'She certainly gets a lot out of her bikini.'