Iron Gut Adventurer Pillows

"I told you to see someone about your bloating!"

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Garlic Free Zone.

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Anti-inflammation recipes

International House of Excrement

'New Barbeque.'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'Sick bucket for table sixteen.'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

'Golfers rowing a viking longboat.'

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

Everything Deep Fried. . . Food Shaming

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

"The portions here are so small, thank goodness there's a food bank around the corner."

'Dad, I want to drive an army tank when I'm older.'

'Your meal should be along shortly. Frank just went out to hunt it.'

'As a gastroenterologist, what would you take for this soup?'

'Why don't you go and borrow Jeff's tools? While you're at it, borrow Jeff.'

Hells Snack Shack.

Sunburn.

Obese Hansel and Grettle

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

Kangaroo with fishing equipment.

What to serve to meet most dietary restrictions

Yes, mom, I'm wearing clean underarmor.

"If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

'Your tests show a mild protein deficiency...Have you thought about accepting cheeses into your life?'

"You think I'm a raw-foodist by choice?"

"Wild rice Krispy treat."